(Cute intro music) Hi, it’s Martina! It’s Simon! And this is our fourth month in Japan. Welcome to Eat Your Sushi. Although, technically I guess you’ve been here longer than me now. Yeah, because you were in Canada for two weeks. So now that I’ve been in Japan for two weeks more than you, I am now the Japan expert. So now all of my sentences are gonna start with “(tsk) actually…” So- Are you gonna correct me on everything I do from now on? That’s- That’s what you must do according to the internet. So for those of you that don’t know I was in Canada for two weeks. We had a family emergency back home. So this morning I realized just how jet lagged I was. I left the house to go to- I was gonna say “loblaws”. I went to Lawsons. (tsk) Actually… it’s pronounced “Lawsons”. I went to Lawsons and my Japanese was like slowly disintegrating out of my mind from being gone for two weeks. I bought all the stuff that I needed and I walked up to the cash and I’m like, “Alright Martina, you’ve got this.” and I went “Konbonwa!” (laughter) It’s like- Which means, “good evening”. But it was- It’s like eight in the morning. Eight in the morning! I was like, “Damnit Martina, get it together!” Although, you know how we were screwing up our Japanese and Korean? It actually worked out well for me when I was in Canada. Uh-huh. So you know my neighbor, Micky. You’ve told stories about her, about her family [Simon] actually got you into Japanese culture.
[Martina] Yeah! I mean, I taught them about Canada and they taught me about Japan. So I brought Mrs.Tamida some omiyage from Japan… Uh-huh. Omiyage is like when you travel to another country- [Simon] Souvenirs.
[Martina] -and you bring like souvenirs, yeah. And I like run over to her, and it was night-time and I was able to be like, “Konbanwa” and she’s like, “Oh, Konbanwa!” And I ran up to her, and I was gonna say to her, “This is omiyage from Japan!” and then I went (gasp) “Omiyage-isseoyo” (disappointing trumpet toot) And “isseoyo” is Korean, so you kinda mixed your Japanese and Korean into one sentence. But fortunately, Mrs.Tamida understands Korean. So that actually made sense. Yup. I think that’s kind of an important message that when it comes to language it’s not about saying everything perfectly and properly. It’s about communicating. Your language is a tool to get your idea into another person’s head. And it worked perfectly in this sense! We had a very bizarre conversation mixing Japanese and Korean together. She actually knows somebody that lives in our neighborhood, Right. And I think, um, Micky might be traveling to Japan in the winter time. So maybe, she’ll be… [Simon] She’ll come on our show…
[Martina] At least we’ll record something like- And then you can tell stories about when you were kids, and how like you met at a young age and you used to like poop your pants together. I don’t know about that part… Well, like, how old were you when you met? I think we were like, three or four? Do kids still poop their pants at three or four? Do kids poop their pants…? When do kids stop pooping their pants? Hmm… I don’t remember. I thought the answer was twenty. (upbeat 8-bit segue music) Both: (Crying and laughing at the same time) He’s been having a hard time it seems. Simon: (sobs) He’s having a really hard time. I’m the one that suffered in Canada, and he’s having a snotty- (Cry-laughing) My big duck. I had a Twitter breakdown and it’s a little bit awkward. I wouldn’t read it if I were you. It’s okay big guy, we’re together. Okay? We’re tog- It’s okay. It’s okay. Hey. Hey! [Simon] So the next bus comes-
[Martina] Who’s in here? It’s me!
Okay You look… Ducky! It’s fine. Okay. So… Are you happy we’re back together? So happy! (giggles) (kisses) You’re my ducky. Okay, let’s get going. Awkward- awkward crisis. Okay… Speaking of pooping your pants I’ve learned something very interesting about Japan that I’ve actually confirmed with other people. I’ve confirmed with Dan. He’s had a similar experience. I have traveled to many countries. Mm-hmm. And I’ve done many videos in many countries. And I have pooped in many countries as well. It’s not like I go there and I don’t poop. I poop everywhere I go. I have found- (singing Full House theme) Everywhere I go, every place- I have found that Japanese men are the slowest poopers I have ever come across in the world Got it. Everytime I go to a toilet in Japan and I’m in a public place and I have to wait in line to poop. I never have to wait this long to poop as I do anywhere else in the world. And it’s weird because like there’s sometimes that there are like, two stalls and like, I’ll wait for five minutes. One guy will leave. And then I’ll go in there and I’ll handle my business and I’ll leave, and this person will still be there. (high-pitched voice) How are you pooping for so long? (normal-pitched voice) I go in there, you know, I have, you know, the missile ready at the gates. You know I- I get there- [Martina] Prepare for launch!
[Simon] I deploy the missile. I clean up, I flush, and I leave. How is it that it’s taking Japanese men so long to poop? And the thing is, like, I listen because I’m curious. I don’t hear any sounds of pooping, I don’t hear- Do you hear like, are they on the phone? I hear nothing. It’s just like, this meditative trance that they’re in that they are focusing. Or maybe that’s like, they’re actually like eating and they’re digesting. [Simon] And they’re waiting for the food.
[Martina] And they’re waiting for it to go through. Because how do you spend so long on the toilet? Or maybe this is just my experience. No, no, no, no. [Martina] It makes sense though.
[Simon] Because like, Dan confirmed this. This has happened with him as well. He has waited very long time for Japanese men to stop pooping! Okay, normally when Simon and I go to the washroom at the same time I go in and there is 400 girls waiting. And I Iike wait in line. Simon goes in, comes out, messages me. He’s like “Are you still waiting in line?” I’m like “I’m still waiting in line.” In Japan, I wait in line, go to the washroom come out of the washroom and Simon is still not out. YES! Yes. And then he comes out and says “Forget it, I give up!” And I’m like “WHAT??!” Yeah, I just have to like pinch it off and wait till I get home. Our guess is that Japanese toilets are actually like the ones in Harry Potter. And you get transported to like – The Ministry of Magic. The Ministry of Magic. Cause thats the only – Cause there’s no sound coming out of there! But people come in and out of there, and I just – I don’t understand. We need to make a survey of more Japanese men. Let us know in the comments section! If you are a Japanese man do you take a long time pooping? And what the hell do you do in there for so long? (upbeat 8-bit segue music) Umm. Here good boy. I think my wife has gone a little bit crazy here. Oh, what a good boy. And she started feeding my dog With chopsticks. This helps him slow down his eating. He eats his food so quickly. (nom nom nom) Now he’s eating nice and slowly. See? Look at his patient little waiting face. Such a good boy. I tried to do this to Meemers and Meemers didn’t give a crap. Oh, what a good boy! (Spudgy voice) Oh yeah! Come back Spudgy. Spudgy! (Spudgy voice) There it is! Oh, such a good boy. Oh, missed it! Missed it, buddy. There you go Spudgy. Spuudgy. (Spudgy voice) Oh, there it is. (Spudgy voice) Oh yeah! (Spudgy voice) Down the hole! (Spudgy voice) And the pipe! (Spudgy voice) To my tummy! (Spudgy voice) In my mouth! Spudgy: (gibberish) Speaking of poopy sounds it’s time for the weekly challenge! So, you know when you go to a really loud place. Yup. Um, or if you’re, like, at a club or something and you’re trying to mouth something to your friends. Simon is notoriously bad at lip-reading. Like wh- Martina has made fun of me for this. For some reason whenever I try to lip-read somebody [Simon] I can’t actually guess it in their voice.
[Martina] Mm-mm. I sound like an orc from Lord of the Rings. So if you say something, I’m like, (orc voice) FORSTORAPHAPOOPADAPAWA (normal voice) And I just, I can’t read people’s lips! So what we’re gonna do today is we’re gonna play a game where one of us is wearing sound-canceling headphones with music blaring. Uh-huh And the other person is going to tell that person a sentence. Yeah. And they have to try to guess what the person is saying. Exactly. We’re not really gonna have a winner or loser in this week’s challenge. Yeah. Simply because we just got back and we just wanna have a challenge. [Simon] I MISSED MY DUCKY SO MUCH
[Martina] I just got back… I DON’T WANT TO PUNISH YOU TODAY (sobs) You better not. Okay, good. Okay, so you can see my lips Simon? Alright, okay. WHOWIE WHOWIE. (laughing) No… no NONONONONO. Time. (cute music) We’re ready! [Martina] Okay, here we go.
[Simon] Go for it. Rumor has it- FUMIYAGIS! Mr. T.O.P- Mitsubishi. Takes a bath in ranch- TAKE A BATHROOM S*%T Rumor has it- FUMOO HASTA! Rumor has it- RUBY ANNIE! Rumor WUHBUH (laughing) Rum- HOOHOOHUHUHUH HAHAHA Rumor. FOOBUR Not even close! FOOBOO! Fooboo. Fooboo. Fooboo. NOoo. Rrru- RRRrru [Martina] RUMOUR.
[Simon] HOOBOOO! Roo. WHAT WORD IS FOOBOO? Rooboo rooboo! Rumor! Rhubarb! Rumor. RoobooOOOo? ITA ROOBOO! ROOBOO!! Rumour. Foobur. F*%k that word! Booper. Roober. Rumor has it. Roober asshat. Has it. Roober assist. Has it. Ass-sist. Has it. Asking. Rumor has it. Wooper asking. Mister. MEES-TER. T. O. P. Sto-bie. Mr. Stobie! Rooper asking Mr. Stobie. T. C. T. PEE! SEE! RUHJEKLWPWQFJEWLALALLALLA [Martina] T.
[Simon] Tits. Tits Rooper tits. Tits. O. Hole. TIT HOLE. TIT HOLE PENIS. Tit hole penis. I don’ think we can even play this game. Tit. Hole. Penis. Rumor. Roober. Has. Assss. Has. HAAASSSS. HAS!! Roober has! Okay, roober has… It. It. Has it. Rumor has it. OH! RUMOR HAS IT. [Martina] OH MY GOD!
[Simon] Like a rumor! A f*%king rumor! Rumor has it. Rumor has it. Mister. Mister. Rumor has it mister. T.O.P. Ti-so-bee. Mr. Tisobee. Teee. O. P. Mr. T.O.P. Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. Likes to take. Thinks you can. Likes. Thaaanks. Liiiiikes. ThAAaaaAAAnkssss. [Simon] LALALALALALA.
[Martina] Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes. LALALALALALALLALALALALA! Likes. Thank? Think? Likes.
Think? [Martina] Likes.
[Simon] Think? Thanks. Likes. Thinks. Likes. THAAANKS. [Martina] Luuuuuuh-
[Simon] Thhhhh- LA! LIKES! LIKES!! Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes. To.
To. Take. Get. Take. Get. ssssss TAKE. Set. [Martina] Take!
[Simon] Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes to set. Take. Get. Take.
Get. TaAAaake! Get! GET! GET F*%KING GET! IT’S A F*%KING GET! He likes to f*%king get it!! Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes to get. A. On. A. Bath. In. Sink. In. Bath lick. In. Bath jizz. Bath hill. How long is this sentence girl ?! In. Seat. Ranch. Trash. What?! Bath seat trash. Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P likes to get on a bath in In. Ranch. Resh?
Ranch. Rah-sh. He has a rash. Ranch. Wretch. Ranch. Wretch. [Martina] Ranch.
[Simon] Bleach. Ratch. Ranch Churning butter?! Sprinkle it on the cock! Ranch. Ratch. I am so hopeless! That’s it we’re done. I am so hopeless! We’re done. I can’t do this anymore! We’re done. I give up! Let’s do it together, ready? Okay. Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes to take a bath. Take a bath. In. Ranch. F*%king ranch. Wow Simon did so well. Oh my god. I mean, I don’t- I am so stressed out. Can I check my heart rate on this? That was so painful. That was a short sentence. Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes to take – [Martina] a bath in ranch.
[Simon] That was a short sentence?! That was the beginning paragraph of a novel. [Martina] No it wasn’t.
[Simon] That was like a Dickens novel. Rumor has it Mr. T.O.P. likes to take a bath in ranch. (upbeat 8-bit segue music) So somehow Martina convinced me that this is for Eat Your Sushi but I feel like her motives are not very pure. Whaaaat? What is this, ducky? This is ‘melon pan’. [Martina] Melon pan.
[Simon] It’s melon bread? Yes. Now when I heard melon bread I was expecting it to be green. And I’ve definitely seen green ones before but supposedly it’s a very big thing in Japan. And I’ve never had it and that’s crazy I’ve been here for four months it’s insane! Everywhere we go from now on Melon pan, melon pan, melon pan! It smells like kids’ breakfast cereal. Okay I’m going in. What’s it taste like? Um… There’s like a surprise on the inside. [Simon] What’s the surprise?
[Martina] Surprise! It’s empty. Surprise it’s empty, surprise you got screwed! It tastes like kids’ breakfast cereal. Yeah, this is kids’ breakfast cereal. The outside area is like this weird and crunchy, but puffy. It definitely has that melon milk flavor. You just- almost took the whole thing. Hmmm.
See what I mean? The top is so crusty. Yeah, so it’s like, crusty and soft at the same time. This is so dangerously not healthy. I know. We should definitely go to other places and try more melon buns okay? [Simon] We definitely should, because we just said
[Martina] We will. [Simon] this is dangerously not healthy.
[Martina] Deal. Done. We touched paws, that’s how it works. Are you ready? I am ready? [Simon] Tubbs ate all of your goldfish.
[Martina] The opposite of lube. [Simon] Tubbs ate all of your goldfish.
[Martina] The… The… Look at my mouth. Look at my mouth. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. The doppelganger fish. Tubbs ate all of your- Doppelganger fluid. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. Tubbs. Tubbs! Dubs. Dubs! [Simon] Ate.
[Martina] And… [Simon] Ate.
[Martina] Dubs and… Ate. Dubs had. Dubs ate all all of your goldfish. Dubs had a fluid. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. Dubs had a flui- DA DA [Simon] Ta
[Martina] THA THA Tubbs.
(SPLASH) Tubbs. The opposite. Tubbs. Dubs.
Ate. Ace. Tubbs ate. Dubsace? All.
‘Dubsace’ isn’t even a word. Tubbs. Dubsace. THE. THA. Tubbs. [Martina] Thumbs. Thumbs. Tums.
[Simon] Tubbs. Tubbs. You- The fat cat! Tubbs. The fat cat named Chubs. Named Tubbs. Tubbs.
Dubs. Fat cat. Tubbs.
Chubs. Tubbs. [Martina] Tubbs. Tubbs. Tubbs.
[Simon] Yes! You know Tubbs. Tubbs the cat. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. Tubbs ate all of the fish. Goldfish.
Tubbs… Tubbs ate. Tomcat. Tubbs ate. Tubbs cat. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. Tubbs ate all my fish. Goldfish. Whole fish. Goldfish. Whole fish. Goldfish. Holy fish. MUHHHH SAMFUEJFFLJLWFJ HAHHHA Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. Tubbs ate all of your fish. Goldfish! GOLD-F*%KING-FISH! Whole. Gold. Whole. Gold. Olds. [Simon] Guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh
[Martina] Uhuh. Errr… [Simon] Gold.
[Martina] Old. Oil. FOIL. Tubbs. Ate. All. Of. Your. Gold. Fish. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. This is from Neko Atsume.
Yes. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish. And. Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. (Glass shatters) [Simon] Jet fuel can’t melt-
[Martina] Didn’t give you any money. Jet fuel. Didn’t give you any- food. Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Tubbs ate all your fi- goldfish. And. Jet fuel. Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. You are shaking and you’re moving too much. Jet fuel. Tin foil. Jet. Jet. Chest.
Jet. LAAALA Jet. Dessss. Jet fuel. Tin foil. Jet fuel. Tin foil. Jet fuel. Tin foo-ey! Jet fuel. [Martina] Tin foooil.
[Simon] Je-Jet fuel. Dren foil. Okay. Jet fuel can’t. Can’t. Never. Can’t. Aids. Can’t. Melt. Belt. Melt. Belt. [Simon] Muh-muh-muh-muh.
[Martina] Buh-buh-buh-buh. [Simon] Muh-muh-muh-muh.
[Martina] Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Muh-muh-muh-muh. Muh! Melt. Can’t melt. Melt. Can’t melt. Melt fish. Steel. Yes. Melt steel. Sss- ssss Melt steel. Melt steel. Melt steel beams. Melt steel Meemers? Beams. Me me. [Simon] Beam.
[Martina] Meme. [Simon] Buh-buh-buh-buh.
[Martina] Me-me-me-me. [Martina] Buh-buh-buh-buh. Beams. [Martina] Beh-beh-beh-beh. Beams. Beamers. Beams. Bebes. Beams. Beeebeeees. Beebs. Melt steel beams. Tubbs ate all of my goldfish. And… Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Never… Even gave me any melter beams. Okay, I think it’s time Martina gives up. I got a lot closer to the sentence than you did. Tubbs ate all of your goldfish and… Jet fuel… Jet fuel? Can’t melt steel beams. That’s not very fair. I had two sentences in there. Did I say that it has to have the two- I am just giving two sentences here. [Simon] Dan-
[Martina] I don’t know Which sentence was more complicated? Dan, who do you think performed better? [Martina] Who got-
[Simon] Who do you love more? Your mummy or your daddy? Not this again! [Simon] Who do you love more?
[Martina] He’s like “I need to stay in England. I’m never coming home again!” Um, I’m gonna go with… Martina. Oh! Woowoo woo! Woooo! [Martina] Well, good game sir.
[Simon] It was fun. Good- good game sir. Good game sir. I think it’s time we answer some questions.
Yes. (Upbeat 8-bit segue music) Uh, you know, just your normal 24-hour hangout pub. An average chain where you get free side dishes of Chinese fish, and I’m assuming some kind of oden but who knows, it could be bean. And we’ve got ourselves some fresh scallops. With… This is my favourite thing ever. Butter! How many times in Korea did we say If we could only have things to smother it in butter. Right?
Uh huh. Now we have butter. Just eat the butter right off. I’m just gonna eat it. Dan hands. Dan, dan, dan. Dandan dandan hand. Dan dan dan dan dance. This is a… Yakionigiri. I have never heard of Yakionigiri before. Can you see it Simon? Yeah I can totally see it. So this is a grilled… …and what is that? Dunno; I think it’s just soy sauce. Soy sauce? C’mon Dan’s hands, act more like you know things. [Dan] This is definitely…
[Martina] I believe that this is definitely… This is definitely black sauce. Traditional Japanese black sauce. Yes. From the uh…which era? [Dan] From the uh… Hedo..Hedo.
[Martina] Hedo Era Yes, yes. I think I saw this in an anime. Japanese sauce. Black sauce. Black- black Japan sauce. The official name for it. How long do we grill this for? Do we, like, toast it? You can just leave it for a bit. Until it gets a bit crinkly on the outside. Our first question comes from Twitter from kaitlinsimpson1. And we are laughing because we’ve read this about 40 times. We are gonna get it this time. When I moved to Japan recently, my expectations were so incredible that reality paled in comparison. Did that happen to you? And the answer is no. Because our expectations were not incredibly high. And I think it’s because we lived in Korea for 8 years. So we’ve kind of had experience of living in an Asian country. I know a lot of people, like, when they think of Japan and they think of like, magic and like samurais everywhere. And like Hello Kitty this, and robots walking around the streets. Well like, we think of it as like, every country just has normal people, and they just do normal things. There’s pockets. [Simon] Yeah there’s some pockets.
[Martina] Like there’s pockets where you can go. Like you can go to Akihabara or you can go to Harajuku. But that’s not part of the everyday life [Martina] of Japanese people right?
[Simon] Exactly! And I think what makes it to the news like when it comes to exposure of different countries is never the regular stuff cause that’s boring. It’s always the funky amazing stuff that is like in the minority that winds up making it to overseas news. It’s like when we do Wonderful Treasure Finds. Yeah! We didn’t do Wonder Treasure Find and like [Martina] “Here’s a tissue box that we got.”
[Simon] Yeah! “It’s just like you.” Cause that’s not wonderful. That’s really boring right? You wanna say like “Well, what’s exciting about this country?” There are some things that are pretty awesome though and are totally real. And we are not saying that Kaitlin believed that everybody like walked around like wizard or so. We are just saying that like, we know that some people think that there’s like a magic and a mysticism to Japan. When I just think they are regular folks having regular lives here. Japan does offer some cool things on the side and you could go out, and you could find that and you could find that fulfilling. But everyday life is pretty average here. I feel like humans- this is gonna sound like super super deep here, but- Super deep son. Humans around the world all suffer from the same things. Like whether you are Japanese or you are coming to Japan. You know, people are lonely. They wanna make friends. People have social anxieties. People are hungry. [Martina] People have war.
[Simon] People have [email protected]%t jobs. But I do believe that you can shift your perspective of a place and you can see things in a different kind of light. When we go to a restaurant I can feel excitement even though this might be a restaurant that I have gone to a million times. Even when we were in Korea, I can get that feeling of Ah I really like how this has like, these little pieces of paper on the wall. Or like, I like the way that everybody greets people when they come in the door. Like that might be regular for Japanese people. But I still kind of try to keep some things feeling magical and exciting and- I feel like the difference with us is that we don’t get excited by like the super exciting things. We get excited by regular, boring things. Just things that are different. Things that we could compare and contrast with previous experiences. Those are what like, really, like open up our eyes. And we get super pumped for that. I think that’s the kind of perspective you gotta have on it. I think so. (upbeat 8-bit segue music) Oh yeah. Fast food tempura. Got a big bowl of tempura. And you get the option between cold noodles, like the soba or warm noodles. And we got the cold ones. Six bucks. Very nice. The next question comes from YouTube from Wutevaperson, who says “Oh my gosh Martina. When you just parked your bike outside the diner, my brain freaked out a little because I noticed you didn’t lock it. Where I live, if you even leave your bike unattended just to go to the convenience store, it’ll sure be gone by the time you come back. Is bike theft not an issue in there, even in Tokyo? How about general theft? I think she or he, um they are referring to a while back. For Eat Your Sushi, we had an episode where we drove up to our little tiny local, um, Japanese diner. And it was like a bike parking lane, and we just [Martina] parked our bikes.
[Simon] Left our bike there. And nobody steals your bike. Um I would say that I have heard that there is bike theft in Japan. Like it can be a problem depending on where you leave your bike. Um but there are all these kind of like organized bike parking lots where you put your bike in and you lock it up. And we’ve left our bikes overnight by mistake. Like cause it closed early and you are like “Ahhhh!” Or you left your bikes there for hours [Martina] and we’ve never had a problem with that.
[Simon] I left my bike in a parking lot for 48 hours. I actually didn’t tell you this. I forgot to lock it up. Yup. I actually – because I was in such a rush I actually forgot to lock it up. I left the key in the bike and nobody stole the bike. Now I’m not trying to put a big target on my back like look for Simon’s bike and steal it. Which you probably knew with this video. In Japan, bike theft is not as big an issue as it is in like, what we are used to in Toronto. I mean, when you are in Toronto, and you own a bike, you bought those gigantic, ridiculous chains that somebody couldn’t clip through. And then you couldn’t just like lock up your bike frame cause then they would take your wheels. And if you locked up just the bike wheel, they would undo your bike wheel and just take your frame They’ll take anything. They’ll take your seat They’ll take your stickers. Like in Toronto, they will [Simon] pick your bike apart clean.
[Martina] Our friend Ryan had his bike stolen. I do think that like, bike theft obviously happens here. But it’s not as- [Martina] The stealing culture in Korea and Japan-
[Simon] Well like, “obviously” is the wrong word. Like it exists, but it’s not a predominant [Simon] threat as it is like elsewhere.
[Martina] You don’t have to be as worried, yeah. (upbeat 8-bit segue music) Hey you know what’s great? Tell me. Dan’s back. That’s ok I guess. You say that.
Dan’s alright. Anyways, the point is that Dan was in, um, England for the past couple of weeks. And then I was in Canada. And we weren’t able to ask Dan any questions they way we regularly do. But now that Dan’s back we can ask him a question. And this one comes from BethStar11 and says “So Dan is British. What part of the UK is he from? Dan sounds English, so where in England?” Dan where are you from in the UK? I am from a place, or a city called Bristol. [Simon] From Bristol.
[Martina] Bristol. Like the alcoholic beverage. Yes. Bristol the cream Don’t know if that’s the good or bad part. We once played a game with Dan called “Is it rich or not?” Yes, so Dan keeps uh- We play this game which like, when we are walking around, Dan will name an area of England. [Simon] And we have to guess posh or not.
[Martina] Oh was it “Posh or Not”? [Simon] And we have to guess based on the name
[Martina] On the name. how posh the area is. Does Bristol sound to you posh or not? [Simon] Bristol does not sound posh to me.
[Martina] It sounds not to me. [Simon] It does not sound like a posh area to me.
[Martina] Is it posh or not? Parts of it are really posh. Some bits are not so posh. I’d say it’s kind of posh. There you go. So we were wrong. I imagined it like the, like grimier parts of England. And everything is grey. And they have like, all the billboards are grey. And there’s just like smoke stacks and chimneys everywhere. This is how I imagine some of the dingier parts of Bringland. Bringland. Bringland! British England!! BRINGLAND!!! You gotta bring it, son! So if you have any questions for us, or for Dan, leave them in the comment section below, or on Twitter, or Instagram, or Facebook. We check them all and we’ll pick some and answer them next week.
Yeah! First, I would like to thank Anna from Brampton for the Ptasie Mleczko, which is Polish for “bird’s milk”. I love the stuff! And I also want to thank Irmina from Poland. [Simon] I feel like this was-
[Martina] What’s happening right now? This is like two Polish packages at once. Irmina, you made me cry so much when you made your class write letters to us. It is so incredibly touching. There’s some really cute pictures that she put in there. [Simon] There’s lots of really cute pictures
[Martina] Show them some of the pictures while I eat [Simon] Your – Some – One of his students
[Martina] your Bischuskee Mashtolos. [Simon] Ptasie Mleczko. It means bird’s milk.
[Martina] Pacheshko mesos. [Simon] Just imagine a little bird’s
[Martina] Pchhhh… Ptasie. Puhchashi. Pt. Ptasie. Ptasie, good. Ptasie. Mleczko. Very close enough. Ptasie Mleczko! Our next lovely package comes from Yuka who came to our Eat Your Sushi event at the YouTube Space. Which no one will apparently ever see. That footage is gone forever. Dammit! She made these amazing drawings, including “Hello Japan, stop being delicious.” [Martina] Do you remember? Hajimemashite.
[Simon] And also- She gave us some CoCo Ichiban furikake. Oh my god I am excited to try this. You can just like, literally open this up and just like dip your finger in and eat it like pop rocks. But we won’t, cause that would be… Weird… We got an awesome package all the way from Norway. And you know who we got this from? Desucon. So we are actually going to Desucon which is like an anime convention in Norway. At the end of June, we are going. We are gonna be there. Thank you for this package from Desucon. It’s awesome because you know who’s coming with us as well? Dan’s coming with us! And he’s never been to Norway before. And we are hyped to have him try lots of different things He’s never actually tried the Hockey Pulver. I am not a fan of like tea-flavored stuff. But Dan is. Martina likes this too. [Martina] Yeah we’ve got all these things that we’ll uh-
[Simon] You just gotta like grab some. Grab a whole and put it- It’s kind of like black tea [Simon] You just pinch it.
[Martina] that kind of stuff. Cause Dan is British, he likes tea-flavored stuff. Which we completely lied about. It’s not at all like black- It’s salted licorice. He’s so sad right now. Oh he’s so sad. And more awaits you Dan. More awaits you. Here, why don’t you wash it down with some chocolate. It’s chocolate? [Martina] No, that’s not chocolate. This is chocolate.
[Simon] No that’s just like the… Salted licorice stuff.
Yeah. This is Norwegian chocolate. Take a bite out of… Yes, that’ll wash it all down. It’s great. Or will it? That’s more licorice in there. It’s chocolate filled with licorice. We are gonna be doing this to Dan a lot when we bring him to Norway. Cindy sent me this lovely package. She actually sent us a package a while ago in 2013. Oh wow. And I know exactly what she sent: the octopus ring. Which is that blue octopus that I wear all the time. OH the- I thought it was like a ring of octopus. No, and she sent us the Ikea dishes that we use in our studio. [Simon] Oh yeah!
[Martina] Yeah. And she sent me the cherry bandana [Martina] which I use all the time.
[Simon] You still wear. Yes! Are you ready for this? Let’s see. You open this up. What?! And I’ll open this up. I don’t understand. How are we going to take this home on the subway? How are we gonna bring this home with us? It’s a cinnamon bun cushion! This is just a cupcake. [Simon] Pretty-
[Martina] This is what I want in my house [Simon] Oh yeah!
[Martina] all the time. [Simon] This is just so hu-
[Martina] Is Spudgy gonna hump this? Probably. This feels like a fuzzy, hump-able object for Spudgy. We have to give Spudgy Viagra for his heart. So I’m sure that like, it’s- he’s definitely been humping things more than usual. This great. She also sent me just a few bandanas. Just a few. (upbeat 8-bit segue music) It’s really windy today! I think that’s kind of an understatement. I’m barely holding on! I’ve seen babies in the wind! Really? Oh Jesus! We are all gonna die! That dog is barely holding on. And the winner of our last episode’s capsule toy is rooroolaboo who said “Some of the midnighty goodness by Martina includes coconut oil chocolates, chocolate tofu pudding, eomuk, chia seed pudding, dakgalbi, and egg nog. Making munchies at midnight… eating them all by daylight…” Making munchies at midnight! Congratulations to rooroolaboo. If you are the winner send us an email and we will mail out your capsule toy as soon as possible. For this week’s giveaway, we have a new question. And because I’ve recently started my gaming channel I’m not sure if you saw but- Simon has started a gaming channel in depression [Martina] while I was gone.
[Simon] I was so alone. He was supposed to edit a bunch of videos I, literally, I tried looking at some of the footage that we filmed and I felt so empty and sad [Simon] and there was just like, no point-
[Martina] It’s like I died. [Simon] It literally felt like I was grieving.
[Martina] I was like in Canada. So I started my own gaming channel. And my question for you, if you wanna win this week’s capsule toy is: What is my death count for the first two episodes that I played of Dark Souls? So I played a few Dark Souls. Now what are the first two death counts all together? Leave your answers in the comment section below and we will mail you a capsule toy package if you are the winner. I am gonna play games with you too. [Simon] Yeah you are gonna come in and join.
[Martina] I am gonna sit and watch and I’m gonna scream at the screen with you.
Yup. Nice to be back in the studio don’t you think? Totally great. Are you happy that I am back? I just—Ducky, I missed you so much, girl. Simon did so much hardcore crying at the airport. Woah. He was really funny. I was a sobby Bobby. I was, like, happy to see Simon. Simon looked like he was miserable to see me. Yeah. I felt like as soon as I was able to hug you, I had like, a straw go from my chest to yours, and the emptiness of my heart started filling up. Awww, that’s like a Valentine’s Day card. Yeah. Like a creepy one. The emptiness of my heart started filling up with a straw that connected our two bodies. Ahhh!! Okay, see you guys next week. See ya.